Brandin.com

Discovery - Part 3: Lack of better to do

Posted: 2007-11-11 04:15:16

So here I am on a typical Saturday night as I'm starting to pack my boxes and bring them to my new place in Belmont Shores over the next few weeks. Since my roomies cancelled going out and the rest of the rowing team is up in Berkeley, I found myself with the lack of something better to do once again. But never worry, I came back to the list and did some research again.

This Week's Mystery of the Minds

"Every other virtual equals (something?)"
WTF is this? I'm writing this down. I can't exactly remember the ending. Perhaps I can put it against a truth table and make it complete somehow. Otherwise I'm going to ignore it for now.

So I found this cool guide to understanding people like me. Once again, a lot of it is harsh and I will comment on most of it below.

The Idiot's Guide to the INTJ

Introduction

Welcome to yet another document about INTJ’s.

Numerous INTJ resources are available on the web, but they are all descriptive (telling you some things about us) without being particularly prescriptive (instructing you on how to deal with us). So we – a bunch of INTJ’s – decided to rectify that situation by providing you this convenient, handsomely designed, and eminently well written instructional guide. Targeted towards the friends, co-workers, and relatives of INTJ’s, this handbook is intended to provide you with the understanding necessary to make your interactions with us go smoother, and to surround you with butterflies and sunshine.

Okay, our integrity demands we admit the real goal is to make life easier for us. Since only about 1% or 2% of the general population are INTJ’s and we’re a pretty reclusive bunch, we’re probably a mystery to you. Consequently you don’t really know how to interact with us, and many of you tend to annoy us. Hopefully this guide will help alleviate that. We just thought if we made it about you and your needs you’d be more likely to read it. You needy bastards.

INTJ Overview

Since numerous detailed INTJ type descriptions are already available on the web, we’ll just hit the high points here:

We’re smart.
37% of INTJ’s have IQ’s that place us in the top 2% of the general population. We are visionaries, strategic (and compulsive) planners, big-picture thinkers, complex problem solvers, adept decision makers, conceptualists, theorists, and pattern recognizers – in short, we are “masterminds” [insert evil mastermind laugh here].

Personally, I hate IQ tests. Though I agree that many in my family are visionaries. Between gramp's medical instruments being sent over to thrid world countries and Dad's artillery tools being sent to the fighters in Iraq, I feel proud being amongst these few of the world. Sometimes I feel people get me wrong as being arrogant and evil (as mentioned above).

We don’t do feelings.
We use critical thinking, reason, and logic. We have a tough time with people who make decisions based on emotions, and we can often come across as blunt and cold because we ignore the feelings of others. But on the plus side, we take criticism well since we have no feelings to hurt.

Really? Sometimes I do "feel" others.

We live inside our heads.
We frequently zone out. We get lost in thought and spend much of our time inside our heads. If our immediate reality becomes boring, we will retreat into our minds, and you might have to shout our names repeatedly to get our attention so we will come out again. And no, sorry, but you can’t come into our heads with us. You wouldn’t last five minutes there. You’d be driven insane by the nonstop cacophony of overlapping voices madly free-associating from one idea to the next.

For sure! Last thing I remember is a coxin yelling at me in the boat during Newport Autumn Rowing Festival. I was so used to being in the bow that a command for the "stern pair" just wandered off.

We are self-confident.
No type is more self-confident than the INTJ. We have a very keen awareness of our own knowledge and abilities, and – more importantly – of the limits of our knowledge and abilities. Consequently we can come across as arrogant sometimes. This is your problem to deal with, not ours, since it is a problem of erroneous perception (yours).

Why do you think I moved out and escaped to Crescent City last summer!? HAH! I think the whole "it's your problem" is a little harsh. I really try to make myself aware of the other end of the conversation when I can.

We are aloof.
Because we are somewhat detached from reality, because we are introverted (we find interacting with people to be tiring and tiresome), because we are very private, and because we are impassive, we tend to come across as rather reserved and aloof. Okay, we actually are reserved and aloof.

Hate to say it.

Conversing with an INTJ

Do’s and Don’ts (mostly Don’ts):

DON’T ask one of us a question unless you really want a truthful answer. We will not sugarcoat it for you, and we don’t tell white lies to spare anyone’s feelings. Do you really, truthfully want to know if those jeans make your ass look fat? Normal person’s response: “Um, no, you look fine. Really.” Honest person’s response: “Well… maybe a different belt would help?” INTJ’s response: “No, it’s not the jeans that make your ass look fat; it’s your fat ass that makes your ass look fat.”

If this was an exact situation that I had to deal with, I'd disagree with this. Go with the white lies ;-)

DON’T express an opinion to us unless you are prepared to back it up with sound arguments and well pedigreed facts and evidence. Otherwise do not be surprised when we logically shred your opinion for you and hand it back to you in tatters.

Eh? Does it involve some kind of logic truth table? HAH! Just kidding! Unless it was something I was interested in, I could really care less. If I really wanted something my way, in a fair way, influence is the way to go.

DON’T be repetitive. We have absolutely no patience for that. There’s no need to cover old ground, and we heard you the first time, unless we were zoning out. And if we were zoning out it’s probably because you started repeating yourself.

Um, OK

DON’T take 100 words to say what could have been said in 10. Content-free speech will cause an INTJ to zone out faster than repeating yourself.

Funny, sometimes I have to do the opposite of this when I have to explain something.

DON’T engage us in “small talk”. Keep in mind that you are competing for our attention with all the voices in our heads, and they are bound to be far more interesting than you. The voices are constantly regaling us with things like anagrams of Wayne Newton (Wanton Weeny, We Annoy Newt, New Yawn Tone, …) and candidate titles for parodies of “Carry On My Wayward Son” (“Cary Grant Was Six Foot One”, “Curry On My Egg Foo Yung”, …). Do you really think your talk of the weather or your six year old’s soccer league is going to be more compelling than that? Please. Be realistic.

STOP! This is disturbing. I'm not that strange.

DON’T look at an INTJ in bewilderment when he/she discloses an idea to you. Yes, it may have required a double somersault of imagination to reach their conclusion. Ask them to take you through it step-by-step; they will happily oblige. Ideas are of ultimate importance to an INTJ, and it is a compliment for them to share their ideas with you. Similarly, failing to give due attention to an INTJ’s idea is a high form of insult.

Don't really agree with the "insult".

DO… um… well, we thought there should be at least one “DO” but we can’t think of one. Oh, how about this: DO keep it short.

I would have loved to change some of these DONT's to DO's and make it more constructive and less arrogant.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Where can I find an INTJ?

A: We INTJ's are über-introverts, so we prefer asynchronous and semi-anonymous forms of communication. We get most of our socialization through internet forums and Usenet newsgroups. Look for us there.

Uh, Usenet? Man, It's been a long time. You can find me on Facebook or right here (brandin.com) instead. I feel it's more to the norm.

Q: Can I become an INTJ?

A: Unless you are born an INTJ, your only hope is to find a genie lamp while strolling on the beach, rub it, and make a wish. You can fake being one of us by burying yourself in a mound of books, nerding out on a favorite subject (like quantum mechanics, not needlepoint), wandering around by yourself, not giving a damn what others think of you, etc. If this sounds like too much work, just try doing a good robot impersonation.

Come up to me with a cup of coffee instead. Some strange impression will freak me out!

Q: How can I break up with my INTJ?

A: Tell us the truth. We'll reply, "Sure, why not?", and go on with our lives.

You know, thinking back to high school when I had to deal with this at graduation, it's sad but true. I feel a little different about it now.

Q: My INTJ is trying to take over the world. Should I be concerned?

A: Remember, he’s trying to take over the world for the betterment of everyone and everything. Just go ahead and let him. He’ll be happy and the world will be a more organized and efficient place.

The only thing I've had close to this are comments saying that I'd be the next Bill Gates. Please for the love of God! Put some class into it, like Steve Jobs. Heck, I'd even go for a Linus Torvalds kind of guy. Hey, I'm sure Bill's a good guy, but please!

Q: My INTJ just told me I’m retarded. Should I take offense?

A: You probably are retarded, by our standards. But don’t take offense. Our standards are so high that even we don’t meet them. We judge ourselves more harshly than we judge others.

To myself, yes, sometimes think this way. But I hate making it known out loud.

Q: My INTJ isn’t sensitive to my feelings. Should I take offense?

A: We aren’t even sensitive to our own feelings. Why should we be expected to be sensitive to yours? We won’t even try to fake it. Insincerity is a pet peeve of ours, and anyway, it would ruin our reputation if we ever showed emotion.

At this day and time, I'd be more sensitive to others. The way I see feelings now is through that whole "influence" idea again.

Q: Why doesn't my INTJ ever show emotions or feelings?

A: Because he doesn’t have any. Actually, that’s not strictly true; it’s just that we tend to get emotional about things you might not appreciate. INTJ’s have been known to cry during the liftoff scene in "Apollo 13", for example. An INTJ may also smile or laugh at random for no apparent reason; probably one of the voices in his head just made a good joke.

Indifferent on this one, although the occational "laughs" can happen to me.

Q: My INTJ doesn’t care about me any more after he tried to explain his idea and I didn’t listen. What should I do?

A: Ideas are of prime importance to INTJ’s, and disregarding or not listening to our ideas is the highest form of insult. Although INTJ’s do not hold grudges, neither do we go out of our way to associate with people who don’t give serious consideration to our ideas. You’ll be in damage control mode for quite some time, fighting an uphill battle to get back into our good graces.

Again, I wouldn't take it as an insult.

Q: My INTJ won’t talk to me. What should I do?

A: What subjects are you trying to talk about? Most INTJ’s hate gossip, and all of us hate talk of relationships. We also don’t do small talk. Try quantum physics, psychology, or some other deep (but non-touchy/feely) topic. If all else fails, try email instead.

Don't agree with this...

Q: Why does my INTJ keep correcting my grammar?

A: Probably because you are being grammatically incorrect. The next time you tell your INTJ that you’re going to “try and [do something]”, prepare to get bitch-slapped. It’s “try to”, not “try and”. And there’s no such word as “irregardless”. Words have specific meanings, and language has specific rules; please abide by them. And don’t even get us started on your contextually ambiguous use of pronouns.

But I agree with this, and I really don't want to bitch-slap.

Q: I have this REALLY good idea… should I tell an INTJ?

A: Sleep on it… for a week or so. If it’s still so appealing, sleep on it for another week. Then maybe run it by one of us and we’ll pick it apart for you. Your idea is more likely to survive our scrutiny relatively unscathed if you have actual logical arguments and sound evidence with which to back it up.

Go for it. Bring it by me. I'll ask questions.

Q: Is it dangerous to annoy an INTJ?

A: First we will ignore you, then we will launch a volley of extremely witty but esoteric insults that will probably go right over your head, and finally we will just engage the "nod-and-smile" autopilot and go back to ignoring you. Best to leave us alone at this point. If you push us too far we may blow up your head with our telekinetic abilities. So, yes, it can be dangerous to annoy an INTJ.

Don't know how to answer this one ;-), but don't worry, I won't blow you up!

Q: What are the pet peeves of INTJ’s?

A: Thanks for asking. Our pet peeves are:

• We dislike surprises. 
  nah, try it sometime!
• We hate having decisions made for us. We’re INTJ’s; nobody is more qualified to make decisions than us.
  again, the influence idea is a way to circumvent this. if it seems good, I'll go with it.
• We dislike getting gifts, as it burdens us with the need to reciprocate.
  WHAT? no, I'd love anything!
• We hate small talk, gossip, and relationship/people talk. Really anything mundane is beneath us.
  damnit!
• We get particularly annoyed by attacks on our intelligence, competence, and integrity.
  maybe this time.
• We hate it when people try to manipulate us.
  sure
• Insincerity and lying.
  :-/ maybe
• People interfering with our alone time.
  not really
• People who are chronically late.
  if it's constant
• People who talk incessantly. We will just engage our “nod and smile” autopilot and mentally go somewhere else.
  maybe I'll listen. depends
• People who are stupid, arrogant, opinionated, and/or closed minded.
  I'll keep my mind open.
• Crooked/badly placed pictures.
  nah, only if the picture is something important. hey, come to think of it, the two frames on my wall aren't really straight. maybe I'll fix that!
• Superficiality (body piercings, pimped out cars, brightly colored anything).
  pimped out car is OK
• Salespeople. INTJ’s are immune to emotional manipulation and have zero tolerance for lines of bullshit.
  hahah!
• Incorrect grammar and word usage.
  please!
• People who waste our time (see Salespeople, people interfering with our alone time, etc.).
  maybe, maybe not
  

• Augustus Caesar
• Dwight D. Eisenhower
• Thomas Jefferson
• Sir Isaac Newton
• George Lucas